Hey~
Little miss confused here.
i didnt touch my blog for ages and its getting rusty
so tis blog's like so honoured tt i'm actually blogging here =P
In response to sh's call, since laine's away n ms busy i guess..

I've started my job on monday and it was damn busy..
I knew 5 other temporary staff like me on the first day and we became instant friends.
got along quite well actually and had been having lunch together since!
the only timeslot i looked forward to during work actually~
So i took my first step to the working world
to learn the difference between fairytales and reality.
But it came to me
too sudden too fast.
My friend whom i only knew for 2 days,
whom had been teaching me for my first 2 days, was terminated.
Who would ve tot such?
Though we've met for only 2 days,
I cried.
Am I too stupid or weak for the truth that reality bites?
My lunch kakis are laughing at me for being so pure..
But i seriously cannot help it.
It didnt even cross my mind.
A tribute to a departed friend -
the least i could do is to heed your advice.
Im so sorry.

The first at work i was asked to do ot.
I cannot reject.
The second day I was asked to open counter.
O.0 open counter.
And interact with customers.
I had to call their number, approve their papers, find their visa and issue to them.
Im just a kid.
But i did aw, it was scary though..
Customers there are regulars and know the place better than i do.
Many asked if i was the new gal there,
I said ya and asked if i was that obvious..
They said normally the malay ladies are a bit fierce but im alright and have got customer service..! wahaha... actually i was freaking out on the inside..

Third day.. i got i'll nvr see my friend again.
I went to work - gloomy. Lost in thought of a lost friend.
Yet, I saw.
A second chance given!
Back to the original position.. and pending for further arrangements.
You couldnt have guessed how happy I was.
Suddenly my day brighten and becames lotsa happier.
My department wasnt many ppl I can talk to
and i dun wan to lose a friend whom i can laugh wif.
I cried subconsciously cos it feels like another tj days.
I desperately nid laughter.
A stupid laugh.
But happy days dont last long.
The nt day, he was really terminated.
Im so sorry, really.
I'll remembered watever you've said and heed your advice.
Believe me.
I'll stay away.

Fourth day, a new guy came.
He looked like a complete stranger to me
and yet he asked me if i was in tj.
I said ya and omg..
He was from tj too.. 10/06.
I knew no one from the class and wonder how he recognise me..
Have I already start forgetting people from the dark memory?
Maybe, I already start erasing people whom hurt me from my memory..
Still, at least, someone to talk rubbish and chit chat during ot...

Today.
A saturday.
I still have to work for half day till one.
I was so happy for one and a half day break and i treat myself meltz.
I walked past comics connection... again.
My heart was itching to buy a ouran comic book but
my brain was seriously debating wif my heart that it was very ex.
My heart won by telling my brain at most work an extra hour during ot to pay for my comic.
And by a twist of fate, all chuangyi books are on 20% discount!
wahaha... discounts rocks!
I cannot wait for the nt episode..
I've bought a huge ouran poster calander for 2008 wif my cousin..
Oh man.. im way seriously getting addicted..
Nvm..
But a new comic book!! wahaha
I've been suppressing myself for so long..
Time to unleash.

I wanted to enjoy my break.
Happily.
But i saw the book which a compo on me was written and published.
Written by my grandpa, on me.
Every sat, i walked over the market to my grandma hse.
Normally, i'll chat more wif my grandma.
Arrange activities and always trying hard to find ways for cousins to have fun together there.
Trying to bring everyone together.
Overnight stays, outings, chalets, overseas trips...
Always trying sth new..
And forgetting that my grandpa was always around..
observing me,.. seeing his grandchildren.
His compo.. how true.
Every word.. it spoke of exactly the way i feel..
I was stunned.
Maybe my granddad knew me better than my whole family added together.
My whole horrible past.
How exact.
Den i realised, an author had to be observant for his stories..
yeah.. when i tot i could keep my blood and tears to myself..
when i thought no one will ever know..
when i thought no one will ever see through me..
when i thought burried deep in my heart's enough..
when i try so hard to smile..
why then,.. make me cry?
Well, my life's truly tis way.. i had to accept..

You've gained my respect.
Like pisces, whom see it all and know it all,
but not nesscessarily tell it all..
I really miss the past.

Nites,
miss confused-not-emo